Releasing Resentments

Releasing Resentments

If you do not bring forth what is within you, resentments can destroy you. But, if you bring forth what is within you, releasing resentments and acceptance can heal you. Holding onto resentments is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.

So it appears that by holding onto resentments and anger, your quite literally poisoning yourself, because these negative emotions release Cortisol and Adrenaline. Cortisol and Adrenalin are hormones, or chemical messengers, and in excess, they can lead to all sorts of illnesses and potentially damaging changes in your body, like a depressed immune system and overall health deterioration.

Have you noticed how certain conditions flare up in you when you’re stressed or run down?  You might get a cold, or feel lethargic. Your complete schedule you rigorously held on to for so long suddenly changes and thus taking you down a long tunnel that seems endless. You can gain weight, because Cortisol lowers your metabolic rate and leads to your body storing fat.


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There are other social health risks associated with holding on to resentments. You could also suffer forgetfulness, and even have difficulties with creativity.  In doing my research to write about this I have learned that in some cases you can even have a reduction in bone density so your bones can become brittle.  Surely it’s time for us to let go of these emotions, express them, and let them out in a constructive and non-harmful way.

The implications of our own health and for the health of others, especially the developed world has shown a dramatic downfall of society and how they feel about themselves.  Yesterday I took a day to involve myself in our society.

I set out to discover and analyze how people in society have really let themselves go.  I took a long journey on public transportation.  I rode the bus, hopped on a commuter train and traveled by foot.  I visited towns that I would have otherwise just driven past.  I watched our society deal with their children, though most parents lacking patience, the one thing I noticed in common is that the majority of those I saw were lacking in how they took care of themselves. Their own self esteem has taken a back seat to their everyday appreciation of life.

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Forgiveness is really a choice we make, even when it comes to forgiving ourselves.  If we wait for the feeling of forgiveness to fill our hearts and inspire us to forgive, we could spend our entire lives waiting. It is a decision, a conscious decision one has to make. While we don’t have control over events that occurred in the past, we have some say over what role those events play in our present that will ultimately end up directing our future. You may find that you may not necessarily feel immediately better after you forgive yourself, but as with many things in life, action often precedes motivation.

My thinking was, “There is no way I am going to forgive the loss of a loved one.” The emptiness they left within me. My failure of not succeeding in helping them overcome and heal their disease. I understand now that I caught myself many times imagining how good it might have felt if what I did had made a difference.  However I can now take that leap of faith knowing that accepting their passing, and be grateful that I did all that I could, might have changed things for me to become more than I ever imagined.  Our minds are like a microscope. Whatever we focus on will expand leaving this question. Do we want to focus on resentments, or forgiveness? Which one, do you believe, will ultimately make us feel and live better?

Resentments block any possibility for peace and happiness. If you have ever felt cheated, betrayed or an injustice has been done to you?  Holding a grudge might be part of that experience. Resentments are like broken records, where your mind plays out the same scenario over and over. Each time the grudge replays in your head, you revisit the emotions and other feelings associated with the event.  In fact, the more you repeat the scenario in your head, the deeper the resentment and pain wedge into your mind and body.  We can experience a racing heart, spikes in our blood pressure, even shallow breathing and physical tension leading into an entire array of diseases.

Resentments harm us in every way possible, physically, emotionally and mentally. Holding grudges truly hurts us. Let’s explore ways on how exercises to relive stress can help when experiencing resentment.

Exercises to relieve stress

Three Simple Steps to release resentments

 

Empower Yourself.

The first step in releasing resentments is to recognize your pain.  Whether the injustice is fresh or old, it’s easy to fall into the victim mode. Keeping a diary is a great way to explore resentments. Remember, you are in charge of what you think, say and do. Make a choice not to live in victim mentality.

Take responsibility for your emotional wellbeing. 

Once you have recognized your feelings, begin to explore what skills you can learn to better deal with anger.  Assertiveness training and grounding meditation can help to improve communication skills.  Focus those old resentments and their energy on ways to heal the situation for your own wellbeing. Alpha Mind Power can also help.

Forgiveness is an inside job. 

We only have control over the here and the now. Life is far too short to allow grudges to kill your happiness.  Forgiveness frees your mind, and exercises to relieve stress from your body is a big help.  Imagine what you can do now that resentments aren’t living in your head. This process frees our minds from taking the situation personally, since you have taken stock in your own emotional wellbeing. Forgiveness may not be an easy feat and may take some time to complete.


Though all this sounds easy right?  One must also take into account not to take it to the extremes and falling into what is called “The triangle of self-obsession.”

When we are born we are conscious only of ourselves.  We perceive little other than our basic needs, and if these needs are met we are happy.  As we grow older we realize that the only source of contentment comes from within.  Our mind shifts from the basic needs to that of self -recognition.  Many begin to realize that dependency on other people, places and things begin to intensify and having the newest phone, the most popular car, and even falling into such trends as having the best body or boasting on physical accomplishments.

“I have become this and you can too mentality.”  When in reality we are fueling a persistent need for self –recognition.  Our social media grew so popular because for so many, it has created a new lifestyle of seeking that very same recognition from strangers to the extent that some even profit from it all at the same time, turning it into a way of life.


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It seems that as adults, we never seem to have outgrown this self-centeredness of the child within.  We continue to depend on the world around us, we become self-obsessed turning our wants and needs into demands.  We reach a point where contentment and fulfillment are impossible and yet continue to demand it from society.  Resentments, anger and fear make up the triangle of self-obsession.  All of our defects of character are forms of these reactions and self-obsession is at the heart of our insanity.

Resentments are a way most of us react to our past, anger is the way most of us deal with the present and fear is what we feel when we think about the future.  All three of these things are expressions of our self-obsession. They are the way we react when people, places and things do not live up to our demands.  When we realize this pattern exists in our lives, and take the necessary steps to understand them to the best of our ability, miracles happen.

Reaching out

We then can begin opening up to others by showing our true feelings for another, we embrace our own faults and weaknesses and accept them for what they are, we suddenly become open to love and do random acts of kindness without expecting anything in return.  We learn to experience a love in our hearts for others and rekindle the basics we once felt as a child.  The miracle of connecting once again with our true inner essence will allow ourselves to be loved freely without demanding it or even expecting it.  Resentments are replaced with acceptance, anger is replaced with love, and fear is replaced with faith.

 

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Comments

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  2. Very good article. I’m very sure that a lot of us can relate to this subject. Thank you!